“Why did you hide your past from me? You think I won’t find out how dark it was hun! You are not worth becoming my life partner!”
Keeping your past a secret from your fiancé can earn you such despicable words. Truth they say is bitter, I hate bitter things too, *lol* but I would rather tell the truth so that it can set me free. A lot of ladies get abandoned few weeks or even days to their wedding when their fiancé finds out about their darkest past, especially if it was revealed by a third party. This in turn leads to a break in trust and if it hurts him too much, he breaks up their engagement; no man wants a lying whore as a life partner.
As ladies, some of us have done horrible things that it’s always too late before we realize how foolish we were. But since the deed is done, the only way you won’t carry the guilt into your future is to spill the bean and let the cat out of the bag during your courtship. If a man truly loves and wants you, he will accept you for who you are, as long as you turn a new leaf. Everyone deserves a second chance, even a whore could start over once her man is ready to take her past and live with it.
Men usually get angry at first, hearing such secrets, but with time, they get over it and come around. Don’t make the mistake of dreading the outcome so much that you hold back, because it will hurt him more hearing it from a third party. Always remember that procrastination is a thief of time; unveil the masquerade while you can before it is too late. As the saying goes, “Trust is a foundation of love, as delicate as a mirror, once broken, even if fixed, can never be as perfect as it once was.”
Let me share Mrs Jennifer’s experience with you:
I got married to my husband in 2007 and it was a great experience celebrating our 10th anniversary together with three beautiful kids. He is really God sent. I never tought I could still experience happiness in my life after my partner to whom I showed so much commitment and had five abortions for jilted and left me stranded before I met my guardian angel who became my husband.
A week to my wedding, my ex-boyfriend showed up, threatening to expose my dark past with him, if I don’t give him two million naira and spend a night with him. “Oh my God!” I was so confused and terrified. I prayed to God to see me through. Then, the idea and courage to tell my fiancé dropped. With all energy , I spilled it out. He got angry and in fact, walked out on me. It was scary, but I knew I made the right decision.
The next day he came to me and apologized. He then asked me if there was anything else he needs to know to which I said No. Then he told me not to worry that he was ready to go the whole journey with me. He arranged with the police and my ex boyfriend was apprehended by the law; he was made to sign an undertaken not to threaten or harm me again.
I had a happy wedding and in fact got pregnant two months after. I didn’t let the fear of getting rejected lead me astray and with that bold decision, God gave me a second chance to live well again. I thank God for blessing me with such an understanding man.
I would implore single ladies to think twice before making some choices in life. If you don’t want to live with secrets that will haunt your future, better to avoid it anyway and choose the path of decency. Not everybody is as lucky as Jennifer to have such an understanding man or still conceive after multiple abortions.
Each relationship you pass through before marriage can be related as your ‘LADDER TO THE LAST.’ Always ensure you plan your life with every step you take in life. Never leave your ex seeking for revenge, and if you do, let your fiancé in on the gist. That would help you well. If it backfires, he won’t lose his trust in you.
Yekinni Mufliat Omolabake, a writer on love and relationship writes from Ilorin, Kwara State.