US singer, Lady Gaga, has opened up on her mental health struggles, saying she previously contemplated suicide due to depression.
The vocalist, 34, was speaking in an interview with CBS Sunday Morning, where she admitted she got tired of fame, pressure, and the attention that came with being a worldwide superstar.
“I didn’t really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family. That was an actual real thought and feeling: ‘Why should I stick around?’,” the singer said.
“It’s not always easy, if you have mental issues, to let other people see. I used to show. I used to self-harm. I used to say, ‘Look. I cut myself. See, I’m hurt.’ Cause I didn’t think anyone could see.
Making reference to a piano in her home while further detailing her battle with depression, Lady Gaga continued: “This is the piano I’ve had for so many years. I’ve written so many songs on it.
“And I think, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s so special, this piano, I love this piano. I don’t know how to explain. I went from looking at this piano to thinking, ‘You ruined my life!’ Like, ‘You made me Lady Gaga.’
“My biggest enemy is Lady Gaga! That’s what I was thinking. My biggest enemy is here. “What did you do? You can’t go to the grocery store now.
“If you go to dinner with your family, somebody comes to the table… It’s always about you. And your outfits, look at your outfits! Why you gotta be like that?!”‘
On the themes of ‘Chromatica’, her 16-track album, Gaga made an example of ‘Pop a 911’, a song she said was inspired by the medication she takes amid struggles to comprehend her fame.
“There’s not one song on that record that’s not true. Not one. I totally gave up on myself, I hated being famous. I hated being a star. I felt exhausted and used up,” she said.
“I don’t hate Lady Gaga anymore. I found a way to love myself again, even when I thought that was never gonna happen.
“Now I look at this piano and I go, ‘Oh, my god, my piano! My piano that I love so much; my piano that lets me speak; my piano that lets me make poetry; my piano that’s mine’.”